What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize