I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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