I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
its not stalking. its research.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
