i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
