Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
