did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
