i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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