I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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