I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
