did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
