nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
