Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
