then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
