This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
