Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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