If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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