Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
