Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I skipped work to stalk him.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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