super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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