Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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