I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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