pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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