You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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