"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
