I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
