Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize