dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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