me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
