I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
