some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Someone shattered a urinal.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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