After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
