Just mADE A PArabola og urine
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
