every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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