stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
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