thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
