theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
