Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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