We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
