god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
