forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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