I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Randomize
