I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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