there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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