can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize