508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
that's an acceptable place to lick
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
