Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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