She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
