I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
