But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
