Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
