small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
