If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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