Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Everything about him screamed your future.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
