that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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