thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize