Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
So squirting runs in the family.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
