I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
