I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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