Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
