Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize