he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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