he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Randomize
