Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
