The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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