We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Too much gin, very little bucket
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
